Thursday, April 17, 2014

cognitivedissonance:

plansfornigel:

sadurdaynight:

female-only:

plansfornigel:

and these are the men women are suppose to call when raped. what is this rape culture you speak of ?

this makes me so mad not every fucking cop is a rapist 

When Cops Rape … and Nothing Happens

“Police sexual misconduct is common, and anyone who maintains it isn’t doesn’t get it,” says retired Seattle police chief Norm Stamper, author of the book Breaking Rank. Since no one is investing resources in learning how many victims are out there, we’re left with estimates and news accounts. As part of a 2008 study, former police officer Tim Maher, a criminologist at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, asked 20 police chiefs whether police sexual misconduct was a problem; 18 responded in the affirmative. The 13 chiefs willing to offer estimates thought an average of 19 percent of cops were involved—if correct, that translates to more than 150,000 police officers nationwide. An informal effort by the Cato Institute in 2010 to track the number of police sexual-misconduct cases just in news stories counted 618 complaints nationwide that year, 354 of which involved forcible nonconsensual sexual activity like sexual assault or sexual battery.

Police Sergeant Doubled as Serial Rapist

It was nothing short of a nightmare — a man obsessively tracking women, sneaking into their homes, assaulting them, and forcing them to perform a bizarre “cleansing” ritual that washed away any hint of evidence from their bodies. Bloomington, Ill., Police Detective Clay Wheeler spent two years pursuing the first serial rapist in his town’s memory.

“I’ve seen more brutal things, more violent things, but some of the things that happened and what he would say and tell these girls as he’s assaulting them, and I mean, I get chills. It just disgusts me,” he said.

According to the 3rd Quarter Report of The National Police Misconduct Statistics and Reporting Project, police officers were accused of sexual assault at a rate of 79 per 100,000 law enforcement personal. The rate of accusations for the general public is 28.7 per 100,000 general public. When corrected for gender these numbers tell us that there are 1.5 times more accusations of sexual assualt among male law enforcement officers than among the general male population. The fact that rapists seem to be concentrated among a group of armed individuals who have the purported authority to detain and arrest other individuals should be more than a little alarming for even the most prolific police bootlicker. In just the last month, several stories of officers committing disgusting crimes have been in the news.

No one needs to come in and say “Not all cops….” on this post or others about police misconduct. That’s great. We ALL know not all cops do bad things, but the point here is that SOME DO and they seem more likely than the general male population to commit this particular kind of crime.

That’s like saying to a rape victim who’s wary around men after being raped by one, “Not ALL men are rapists, your attitude makes me so angry.” That person knows damn well not all men are rapists but isn’t taking the chance of being able to discern rapist from not-rapist — it’s not like they walk around with signs. Just like cops. You never know if you’re getting a rotten apple. Instead of accepting that most of them are good, maybe we should concentrate on getting rid of and preventing rotten ones from happening.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

One study of high school students found very high rates of “rape supportive beliefs”, that is, acceptance of rape myths and violence against women. The boys who were the most frequent consumers of pornography and/or who reported learning a lot from it, were more accepting of rape supportive beliefs than their peers who were less frequent consumers and/or who said they had not learned as much from it.

A full 25% of girls and 57% of boys indicated belief that in one or more situations, it was at least “maybe okay” for a boy to hold a girl down and force her to have intercourse. Further, only 21% of the boys and 57% of the girls believed that forced intercourse was “definitely not okay” in any of the situations. Forced intercourse was most accepted was that in which the girl had sexually excited her date. In this case 43% of the boys and 16% of the girls stated that if was at least “maybe okay” for the boy to force intercourse. - Kristin Maxwell and James Check, “Adolescents’ rape myth attitudes and acceptance of forced sexual intercourse.” Paper presented at the Canadian Psychological Association Meetings, Quebec, June 1992.

University of Minnesota, Research on Pornography

(via gynocraticgrrl)

Thursday, April 10, 2014

If you trash talk Monica Lewinsky and don’t take into account the inherent power imbalance involved when a young woman is propositioned by the LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD you are literal scum.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

When I was seventeen and preparing to leave for university, my mother’s only brother saw fit to give me some advice.
“Just don’t be an idiot, kid,” he told me, “and don’t ever forget that boys and girls can never just be friends.”
I laughed and answered, “I’m not too worried. And I don’t really think all guys are like that.”

When I was eighteen and the third annual advent of the common cold was rolling through residence like a pestilent fog, a friend texted me asking if there was anything he could do to help.
I told him that if he could bring me up some vitamin water that would be great, if it wasn’t too much trouble.
That semester I learned that human skin cells replace themselves every three to five weeks. I hoped that in a month, maybe I’d stop feeling the echoes of his touch; maybe my new skin would feel cleaner.
It didn’t. But I stood by what I said. Not all guys are like that.

When I was nineteen and my roommate decided the only way to celebrate the end of midterms was to get wasted at a club, I humoured her.
Four drinks, countless leers and five hands up my skirt later, I informed her I was ready to leave.
“I get why you’re upset,” she told me on the walk home, “but you have to tolerate that sort of thing if you want to have any fun. And really, not all guys are like that.”

(Age nineteen also saw me propositioned for casual sex by no fewer than three different male friends, and while I still believe that guys and girls can indeed be just friends, I was beginning to see my uncle’s point.)

When I was twenty and a stranger that started chatting to me in my usual cafe asked if he could walk with me (since we were going the same way and all), I accepted.
Before we’d even made it three blocks he was pulling me into an alleyway and trying to put his hands up my shirt. “You were staring,” he laughed when I asked what the fuck he was doing (I wasn’t), “I’m just taking pity.”
But not all guys are like that.

I am twenty one and a few days ago a friend and I were walking down the street. A car drove by with the windows down, and a young man stuck his head out and whistled as they passed. I ignored it, carrying on with the conversation.
My friend did not. “Did you know those people?” He asked.
“Not at all,” I answered.
Later when we sat down to eat he got this thoughtful look on his face. When I asked what was wrong he said, “You know not all guys do that kind of thing, right? We’re not all like that.”
As if he were imparting some great profound truth I’d never realized before. My entire life has been turned around, because now I’ve been enlightened: not all guys are like that.

No. Not all guys are. But enough are. Enough that I am uncomfortable when a man sits next to me on the bus. Enough that I will cross to the other side of the street if I see a pack of guys coming my way. Enough that even fleeting eye contact with a male stranger makes my insides crawl with unease. Enough that I cannot feel safe alone in a room with some of my male friends, even ones I’ve known for years. Enough that when I go out past dark for chips or milk or toilet paper, I carry a knife, I wear a coat that obscures my figure, I mimic a man’s gait. Enough that three years later I keep the story of that day to myself, when the only thing that saved me from being raped was a right hook to the jaw and a threat to scream in a crowded dorm, because I know what the response will be.

I live my life with the everburning anxiety that someone is going to put their hands on me regardless of my feelings on the matter, and I’m not going to be able to stop them. I live with the knowledge that statistically one in three women have experienced a sexual assault, but even a number like that can’t be trusted when we are harassed into silence. I live with the learned instinct, the ingrained compulsion to keep my mouth shut to jeers and catcalls, to swallow my anger at lewd suggestions and crude gestures, to put up my walls against insults and threats. I live in an environment that necessitates armouring myself against it just to get through a day peacefully, and I now view that as normal. I have adapted to extreme circumstances and am told to treat it as baseline. I carry this fear close to my heart, rooted into my bones, and I do so to keep myself unharmed.

So you can tell me that not all guys are like that, and you’d even be right, but that isn’t the issue anymore. My problem is not that I’m unaware of the fact that some guys are perfectly civil, decent, kind—my problem is simply this:

In a world where this cynical overcaution is the only thing that ensures my safety, I’m no longer willing to take the risk.

r.d.  (via princessmilkovich)

(Source: elferinge)

Sunday, April 6, 2014

somewhatconfusticated:

New study finds that drinking doesn’t cause sexual aggression, predators target drunk women

"The reason this is so important is that the way we understand these dynamics has real-world consequences for how we approach preventing sexual violence. The myth that drunk victims gave off “mixed signals” underpins some of the worst victim blaming and outright rape denialism we see regularly. And, as we’ve discussed extensively on this blog, since predators knowingly look for the most vulnerable-seeming potential victims, “rape prevention” efforts that focuses on telling individual women how to decrease their personal risk are inadequate.”

Saturday, April 5, 2014

This is the rape joke:
My best friend was four years old the first time his father came into his room at midnight and tore out his throat. He still has days when I cannot hold him because the memory of a bleeding trachea haunts his doorway. He has not been home for the holidays in many years, but – even now – hands are seen as weapons.

This is the rape joke:
I have been told by more than twenty people that they have been raped. To all of them, I asked where the rapist was. From none of them, I heard ‘jail.’

This is the rape joke:
Once my brother told me that I was so ugly, I would be a virgin forever. Unless someone raped me. But even they wouldn’t come back for seconds.

This is the rape joke:
I believed him.

This is the rape joke:
I now look at every woman on the street and wonder if the space between her legs is a crime scene, surrounded by ripped caution tape. The statistics tell me that this is so common that I will never be in a room that does not contain a survivor. Not even if I am in that room alone.

This is the rape joke:
I was thirteen years old, and he was supposed to be just a friend.

This is the rape joke:
When his older brother came home, the boy pulled away. He wiped the tears from my face and said ‘we should do this again some time.’

This is the rape joke:
When I finally told my parents, they asked what I had been wearing.

This is the rape joke:
I had been wearing my innocence. My trust. I had worn the love I held for humanity and expected to be treated well. I had never been taught that I would be that girl, the one who keeps a mine of secrets between her legs – that girl was the slut. I wasn’t supposed to be breakable.
What had I been wearing? I wore the rape joke, then I became it.

This is the Rape Joke | d.a.s

After Lora Mathis’s poem “the Rape Joke

(via backshelfpoet)

Thursday, April 3, 2014
Bring consent out of the bedroom. I think part of the reason we have trouble drawing the line “it’s not okay to force someone into sexual activity” is that in many ways, forcing people to do things is part of our culture in general. Cut that shit out of your life. If someone doesn’t want to go to a party, try a new food, get up and dance, make small talk at the lunchtable—that’s their right. Stop the “aww c’mon” and “just this once” and the games where you playfully force someone to play along. Accept that no means no—all the time.

The Pervocracy: Consent culture. (via notemily)

it’s especially important to practice this with KIDS. Kids need to know it’s ok to say no to giving auntie a hug and kiss. it’s ok to say no to getting up on stage at a children’s show or activity. it’s ok to say no. please teach your children this!

(via shannibal-cannibal)

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

angrynativefeminists:

the-lost-and-now-discovered:

I call it ‘hunting’ – non-natives come here ‘hunting’. They know they can come into our lands and rape us with impunity because they know that we can’t touch them. The US government has created that atmosphere.

— Lisa Brunner, an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault in the Native American community, had this to say about sexual predators at Native American reservations

TW:RAPE

And this is why your hyper-sexualized, appropriation of our bodies as Native women is a problem white people.
We must live with the knowledge that 1 in 3 Native women will be sexually assaulted/abused/raped or be the victim of domestic violence.

Monday, March 31, 2014
Standing in front of my classroom and stating that a woman’s clothing choice is never permission to rape her should not be a radical act. But only a few heads nodded in agreement. Most were stunned, like this was a completely new thought. The follow up questions were terrifying in their earnestness. “Ms. Norman, you mean a woman walking down the street naked is not her inviting sex? How will I know she wants to have sex?” A surprisingly bold voice came out of a girl in the back “You’ll know when she says, you want to have sex?!” The Day I Taught How Not to Rape (via bury-yourhead)
Monday, March 24, 2014

uselessbodyclub:

If you are an adult on the receiving end of sexual attention from a minor, the only appropriate response is a firm, non-negotiable “no.” Not an “I would, but the darn law…” not, “maybe when you’re eighteen,” a “no.” It is your job as the adult to be responsible, and to not abuse the power differential between you. What the minor wants is irrelevant to your obligations. The only appropriate response is “no.