“That Condescending Feeling You Get From Dudes in the Office? Yeah, That’s Real.”
“They presented male employers with identical job applicants—same experience, same qualifications, same resume—except one was named Dave and the other Diane. Then men in traditional marriages rated “Diane” significantly lower than Dave. Because, you know, vagina. Every woman has felt that—that moment when you can see a man’s engagement switch off, and realize that he will never take you as seriously as he would if you came back with a chest-merkin and a handlebar mustache. But it’s an almost impossible feeling to quantify, and an even harder one to communicate to people who have never felt it. An argument that can be vaporized with an emphatic enough “nu uh!” is a difficult argument to win.” [Read the rest]
I will say, though, that while mostly true, sometimes it’s a personality thing. I’ve worked for/with women who were awful, and for/with men who were incredibly good/equal managers. The same goes the other way. Some women are awesome at it, others get catty. Ugh.
Submitted by Sarah! The bold is from the article, and the italics are Sarah’s comments.
breastfeeding and sexualization:
- Data indicate that whereas 60% of new mothers initiate breastfeeding, only 22% are still nursing at 6 months (Gartner et al., 2005).
- It is argued that one reason women have difficulty choosing to breastfeed is their discomfort with the culture’s sexualization of the breast (Dettwyler, 1995;Morse, 1989).
- Many women choose to stop breastfeeding or avoid it altogether because they report being uncomfortable nursing in the presence of others (Carter, 1996;Dettwyler, 1995).
- They and their male partners worry that breastfeeding will make their breasts ugly (Arora,McJunkin, Wehrer, & Kuhn, 2000; Freed, Fraley, &Schanler, 1993) or will interfere with sex (Freed, Fraley, & Schanler, 1992, 1993).
- In addition, many women and men express concern that public breastfeeding is inappropriate or embarrassing (Freed et al., 1992, 1993), and breastfeeding women talk about their feelings of embarrassment,disgust, and desire for privacy (Earle, 2000).
- Many argue that the reason it is embarrassing is that breasts are not viewed as body parts to feed babies but as body parts to be enjoyed by men. Morse (1989, p. 239) quotes one mother as saying, “Yuck, those are for your husband!”
- Yet not only do larger cultural views about the sexual nature of the breast affect women’s choices, but so do the views of their male partners. Men’s attitudes toward and support of their partner’s breastfeeding have been found to be critical factors in pregnant women’s decision to breastfeed and in their persistence of this practice.
- Findings indicate that a male partner’s actual or perceived attitudes toward breastfeeding predict a mothers’ desire to initiate breastfeeding (Kessler, Gielen, Diener-West, & Paige, 1995; Kloeblen-Tarver, Thompson, & Miner, 2002; Littman, Medendorp, & Goldfarb, 1994; L. Rempel & J. Rempel,2004), actual breastfeeding initiation (e.g., Scott, Binns, & Aroni, 1997), and the duration or persistence of the breastfeeding (Arora et al., 2000; L. Rempel & J. Rempel, 2004).
- Moreover, one reason women often give for choosing bottle-feeding is their desire for father involvement with feeding (Earle, 2000).
- Therefore, fathers have proven to be a significant influence on the success and maintenance of breastfeeding, and men’s attitudes in general likely shape women’s choices and behaviors in this domain.
[Source: Ward, L.M., Merriwether, A., & Caruthers, A. (2006). Breasts are for men: media, masculine ideologies, and men’s beliefs about women’s bodies. Sex Roles, 55, 703-714]
I want to thank North American culture for making it awkward for me to breastfeed in public and making men have such a grasp over women’s actions and decisions. Thank you so much. I’m so grateful that women will literally think they’re ugly if they breastfeed.
Though I was dismayed when my sister told me that they were circumcising my nephew, I am glad that she has withstood societal pressures and is still breastfeeding at 6 months. [Though he won’t take food - bottles or the baby food they’ve started him on - from anyone else, which is a problem, since their finances require my sister to be able to go back to work ASAP.]
Cunt: A Declaration of Independence. (via ratsandcandy666)
And as I’ve read, now and maybe always, sometimes men as well.
I remember reading testimonials from veterans from… I believe Vietnam - who were horrified at the monster they became during wartime and how much they dehumanized, pillages and raped entire villages. If i find excerpts i’ll send them along…
I just feel that it is important to mention that in war, men also get raped although for different reasons. This post is entirely correct in regards to women, however.